Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
