I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
