I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
