just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
