i think my tv is drunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
