you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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