But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I met the friendliest cop last night
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
