escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
