i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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