Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
