I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
