get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
