yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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