the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
