Its about making memories worth repressing
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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