He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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