I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
