there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
