Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
