i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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