He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
