So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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