This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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