i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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