My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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