at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
