if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
