I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
