How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
