You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
