Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
