I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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