your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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