there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
