God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
