Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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