im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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