I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize