In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
