My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
