I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
