so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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