It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
