the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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