I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
