dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
