Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
