a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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