I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
