Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
