i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
