i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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