my mouth tastes like poor choices
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
