I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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